Aging Is Rude
Let me say it plainly. Aging sucks. It sneaks up on you while you are busy living your life, raising kids, working, loving people, losing people, laughing, surviving. Then one morning you catch your reflection in unforgiving bathroom lighting and think, wait, when did that happen. The lines. The sag. The tired look that sleep no longer fixes. Aging skin does not ask permission. We are told to age gracefully, which is an irritating phrase if there ever was one. Graceful according to whom. According to lighting designers. According to Instagram filters. According to people who got lucky genetically and act morally superior about it. Wrinkles, fine lines, volume loss, texture changes, sun damage. These are not character flaws. They are biology. Gravity plus time. And still, it can feel deeply personal. The Guilt Spiral Here is where it gets complicated. You feel bad about how you look. Then you feel bad about feeling bad. You tell yourself there are bigger problems in the world. You are healthy. You are loved. Why are you obsessing over your face. But aging is not just vanity. It is identity. Your face is how the world reads you and how you read yourself. When it changes faster than your internal sense of self, there is grief. Real grief. For the version of you that felt familiar. So yes, aging is hard. And yes, it is possible to care about that and still be a decent human being. The Hard Truth About Erasing Times Let us be honest for a second. Short of a facelift, nothing truly erases aging. That is not pessimism. That is reality. No cream, no laser, no injectable turns back the clock completely. What they can do is help. They soften. They support. They restore a bit of what time has taken. Think improvement, not erasure. Maintenance, not miracles. Once you accept that, everything becomes healthier. Botox and the Wrinkle Conversation Botox gets a bad reputation because people notice it when it is overdone. When done well, it is subtle. Botox relaxes muscles that cause expression lines. Forehead wrinkles, frown lines, crow’s feet. It does not freeze your soul. It just quiets the overactive parts. It works best as prevention and softening. Deep etched lines will not vanish, but they can look calmer. Less angry. Less exhausted. And sometimes that is enough to feel like yourself again. Filler and Volume Loss Aging is not only about wrinkles. It is also about deflation. Cheeks flatten. Temples hollow. Under eyes sink. Filler replaces lost volume and restores structure. Good filler is invisible. It does not shout. It whispers. The goal is not to look different. The goal is to look rested, supported, like you had a good year instead of a hard one. Used carefully, filler can lift without surgery. Used carelessly, it can do the opposite. This is where expertise matters more than trends. Microneedling With RF and Texture Texture is the sneaky part of aging skin. Pores look bigger. Skin looks thinner. Makeup stops sitting nicely. Microneedling with RF targets collagen deep in the skin. It tightens, firms, and improves texture over time. This is not instant gratification. This is slow, cumulative change. Better skin quality. More bounce. Less crepey areas. It is one of the few treatments that actually works with your biology instead of just covering things up. IPL and Sun Damage Sun damage loves to announce itself later in life. Spots. Redness. Uneven tone. IPL helps clear pigmentation and redness, making skin look brighter and more even. It does not change structure, but it changes how healthy your skin looks. And healthy looking skin reads younger even when wrinkles remain. So What Can Be Done You can do nothing. That is valid. You can do a little. That is valid. You can do a lot. Also valid. The key is honesty. With yourself. With your provider. With your expectations. Aging is not a failure. Wanting to look better is not shallow. It is human. The real goal is not to look younger. It is to look like yourself again. Softer. Less tired. More comfortable in your own skin. Aging may be inevitable. Misery about it does not have to be.
Under Eye Truths
A friend called me over the weekend in full panic mode about her under eyes. People kept telling her she looked tired. She swore it was puffiness. I honestly did not remember her ever having puffy eyes, so I told her to FaceTime me. The verdict surprised both of us. It was not puffiness at all. It was hollowness. Indented. Slightly shadowed. The kind of thing that tricks the eye into thinking you are exhausted even when you are not. And here is the good news. Hollowness is often fixable without surgery. That is why this matters. Puffiness and hollowness are not the same problem, and treating the wrong one can make things worse. Let’s break it down like friends do, not like a medical textbook. Puffiness vs Hollowness Why It Matters Puffiness is fullness. Think fluid retention, fat pads that have shifted, allergies, salt, genetics, mornings after a bad sleep. Puffiness pushes outward. Hollowness does the opposite. It caves inward. The tear trough deepens, light hits oddly, shadows form, and suddenly people ask if you are okay. This distinction matters because filler helps hollowness, not puffiness. If you inject filler into true puffiness, you can end up looking heavier or swollen. Nobody wants that. Why Hollowness Can Make You Look Tired When the under eye loses volume, the skin thins and the area darkens. Even with perfect sleep, your face reads as fatigued. Makeup sits strangely. Concealer creases. Photos feel unforgiving. My friend thought she needed ice packs and eye creams. What she actually needed was an expert eye to tell her what was really going on. Filler Can Help But Only If You Are the Right Candidate I asked Dr. Frohar, who is known for being exceptionally precise with under eye treatments. Her answer was refreshingly honest. Not everyone is a candidate. You have to be assessed properly. Skin thickness, anatomy, degree of hollowing, and how your face moves all matter. Sometimes filler is perfect. Sometimes it is not the right solution. Sometimes a conservative approach is everything. That is why I told my friend to book a proper consultation instead of guessing in the mirror. When filler is done well in the under eye, the change is subtle but powerful. You still look like you. Just rested. Softer. Brighter. This is where before and after photos really matter. Not dramatic transformations. Just believable results that show what correction looks like, not exaggeration. What If You Are Not Ready for Filler Here is where makeup becomes your best friend. Hollowness can be visually tricked with the right concealer technique. This is where most people go wrong. They put concealer directly into the hollow. That actually highlights the indentation. The Better Trick You apply concealer slightly below and slightly above the hollow. Not inside it. By brightening the surrounding area, you reduce the contrast that creates the shadow. The hollow becomes less obvious without being filled. Think illusion, not coverage. Use a lightweight, hydrating concealer. Avoid thick formulas that settle into fine lines. Set minimally. Too much powder makes hollows look deeper. This technique does not replace filler, but it can make a noticeable difference, especially if your hollowness is mild. Make sure you do not go downwards with the concealer, go outwards, which essentially is straight across. When to Book a Consultation If people keep telling you that you look tired and you are not.If concealer never quite works.If eye creams feel like they are doing nothing. That is when an assessment matters. At KANDL, we see this all the time. People come in convinced they have under eye bags. They leave realizing it was hollowness all along. And once you know what you are dealing with, the solution becomes much clearer. The Takeaway Under eyes are tricky. Puffiness and hollowness look similar to the untrained eye, but they are opposites. Treating the wrong one leads to disappointment. The right diagnosis changes everything. Sometimes the answer is filler. Sometimes it is makeup technique. Sometimes it is simply reassurance. Either way, you do not have to guess. And you definitely do not have to live with looking tired when you are anything but. If this sounds familiar, book a consultation. Let us look at your under eyes properly. Your face deserves that level of attention.
Holiday Face Planning
The holidays sneak up like a relative you swear you blocked last year. One minute you are crunching leaves under cute boots, the next you are in a change room under fluorescent lighting asking yourself why your face suddenly resembles an under-hydrated peach. I always think I have time. I always think, oh, I will schedule that laser next week. Then next week becomes the week I am stress-eating Ferrero Rochers and wondering why my skin looks like it survived a dust storm. So, here is the honest seasonal planning guide. No lectures, no moral superiority. Just realistic steps so you do not panic-book a peeling laser treatment three days before the office party and show up looking like a lizard who wants to network. First, timing. Aesthetic treatments have their own pacing. You cannot rush collagen, the same way you cannot rush a teenager to move out. Botox takes around 7 to 14 days to settle. Fillers need a week to stop giving that subtle puffy look. Laser treatments can take a couple of weeks for redness to fade and results to appear. So if you are thinking about sprucing up before holiday gatherings, give yourself a comfortable runway. Rule of thumb: Now, skincare. Skincare is the part people either take too seriously or not seriously at all. For the holiday stretch, the basics are non-negotiable: vitamin C in the morning, retinol at night, moisturizer that does not smell like candy but actually hydrates, and sunscreen. Yes, sunscreen. Even if it is cold. Even if the sun looks like it took the season off. The sun is still up there, plotting. All your expensive treatments will work better and last longer if you do not fry your collagen under sneaky winter rays bouncing off snowbanks. It is like protecting your investments. Except instead of stocks and bonds, it is your face. If you are dealing with dryness because the heat indoors has the humidity level of a dehydrated museum, add hyaluronic acid and drink water. I know, drinking water feels like cliché advice printed on wellness mugs. But dehydration shows up on your skin faster than regret after a second martini. Let us also talk about holiday stress because it is its own cosmetic villain. Stress tightens your jaw, clenches your teeth, raises your shoulders to earlobe height, and pulls your entire face toward the center. I can feel my face contracting just thinking about the dysfunctional dinners. If you get jaw tension or grinding, Botox can help the masseter muscles relax. It does not change your personality, just your jawline and your ability to not snap a fork while chewing turkey. And sleep. I once thought I could cheat sleep by buying expensive eye cream. I now know that eye cream is like hiring a therapist after a breakup. Helpful, but it cannot undo the damage if you are still texting your ex at 2 am. Sleep is the cheapest beauty treatment. It is also the most annoying because you cannot buy it in a chic bottle. But it works. The holidays are also a time when we eat things we normally pretend we do not eat. Salt, sugar, alcohol. I am not telling you to abstain. I am not here to ruin the only time of year when cheese is considered a meal. Just hydrate and maybe walk around a little so your body does not feel like it was embalmed in brine. One more thing. Do your maintenance for yourself, not for the in-laws, coworkers, cousins you see once every five years, or that one person who always says you look tired. There is a special place in hell for people who tell others they look tired. You do this because you like how you feel when your skin looks luminous and your forehead has stopped folding like origami. So, think ahead. Give your treatments time. Love sunscreen like it is a religion. Sleep like it is your job. Drink water, even when you wish it were Prosecco. And enjoy the holidays with your nicest face forward, not your panicked one. Your future December self will thank you.
Why and Who Does Your Filler Matter
A story that walked through our doors The other day, a woman came into our clinic to see one of our doctors. She was visibly upset, and when we asked what was wrong, she told us about a recent filler appointment. She had gotten her lips and cheeks done at a place that promised the same results for half the price. Instead of a doctor, the injections were done by someone introduced as a nurse. At first, the discount felt like a win. But within days, she noticed hard bumps in her cheeks that did not move. Her skin became red and painful. She ended up in the emergency room, terrified that her face was ruined forever. The worst part? She later discovered the injector was not a nurse at all. She had no credentials. None. Why credentials count There is a reason fillers and Botox are classified as medical treatments. They are not just beauty quick-fixes. They involve needles, anatomy, and real risks. Knowing exactly where to inject and how deep matters. Knowing how to handle complications is even more critical. Doctors who practice aesthetics are trained not only in the artistic side of creating balance and symmetry but also in the medical realities. They know what to do if something goes wrong. A discount injector without training does not. What we did to help When she came to us, her cheeks were swollen, lumpy, and infected. The only safe way forward was to slowly dissolve the filler. We used hyaluronidase, an enzyme that melts away hyaluronic acid filler, but this process had to be done carefully over time to avoid damaging her tissue. She was incredibly fortunate. If the harmful injections had been Botox instead of filler, there would have been no antidote. Botox cannot be reversed once injected. The hidden cost of a bargain Saving 50 percent feels great until it costs you 500 percent more in correction, treatment, and stress. Infections, lumps, and vascular occlusion (when filler accidentally blocks a blood vessel) are real risks. When you are in safe hands, the chances of something happening are minimal, and if something does happen, your doctor knows exactly how to manage it. How to protect yourself If you are considering filler or Botox, here are a few quick things to check before letting anyone near your face: The bottom line Aesthetic medicine can do wonders for confidence when it is done properly. But your face is not the place to cut corners. That woman’s experience is unfortunately common, and it is precisely why we believe treatments should only be performed by qualified medical professionals. Cheap filler is never cheap once you add the cost of fixing it.
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